Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Climate Change: The Burning Issue

redbud blossoms
on a broken branch—
the creek
that drains the clearcut
runs also in my veins

Judge's comments by David Terelinck: Deforestation is having an enormous impact upon our planet and ecosystems. Trees produce oxygen, capture CO2, provide wildlife habitats, and prevent soil erosion. And there is the mental health benefit of time out beneath shading foliage. Yet their value is often treated as insignificant against corporate greed and the commerce of widespread clearing. But there is beauty and hope to be found in this tanka with the broken branch having redbud blossoms on it. 
This is a tanka of connection and relationship with the land. The narrator has a bond with their environment. And it is an environment man has helped to create, but not in a positive way. The creek, potentially caused by erosion, echoes through the poet’s veins. Do they feel broken in some way themselves by what is happening? There is an understated ache in this tanka that can be felt in the sensitive narration.  
This tanka has a classical s/l/s/l/l/ construction that works well with the subject matter. The contrasting metaphor is strong and fresh, and all emotion is inferred rather than stated. It is highly lyrical on the ear when read aloud due to the strong ‘b’, ‘d’, ‘r’, and ‘c’ consonants. 
The poem builds line by line and has a powerful and satisfying close with the narrator being at one with the damaged land. A well-deserved first place tanka. 

El Rosario
Monarch Preserve—
the final
flutter of wings
above a coffin

Judge's comments by David Terelinck: This tanka intrigued me with the monarch preserve (with which I was not familiar) and wings fluttering above a coffin. It led me to Google and reading about the recent murders of two butterfly conservationists associated with the Mexican sanctuary. The two men, aged 44 and 50, were staunch advocates for ecotourism over widespread tree felling. Between 2005 and 2006, 461 hectares in the region were lost to illegal logging. The destruction threatened the world’s largest butterfly migration. 
An extremely sad tanka that highlights the devaluing of human life and nature next to commercial logging. There is an inferred echo of the short lives of butterflies next to the early deaths of the two activists. It is a sensitively rendered tanka that made me want to learn more about the subject.  

an oily sheen
on the pool’s dark surface
draws them in—
migrating birds to water
humans to black gold

Judge's comments by David Terelinck: Another quality tanka that speaks of the dichotomy between man and nature. How we can be drawn to the same things, but for vastly disparate reasons. This is a tanka that makes us pause and look at nature in different ways. What is life-sustaining for one can be a commercial and advantageous situation for another. 

Further comments from Contest Judge David Terelinck:  "You submitted 12 tanka to this competition.  9 of your tanka - 75% - made the long list of 33 poems selected.  A magnificent effort.  From the 9, 3 of those made the short list of 10 poems, and one each placed in the First Place, Highly Commended, and Commended positions. That is a testament to a quality writer. There were no names or identifying criteria on the tanka. I judged on quality alone, without even thinking of the style of individual poets. And the fact you ended up with multiple poems on the shortlist says much about your ability.

This contest was in aid of Wildlife and Koala Rescue efforts at Port Macquarie Hospital, New South Wales, Australia. Through entry fees and the generosity of donors, a total amount of $1365 AUD ($880.97 USD) was raised. 

1 comment:

  1. That is an amazing achievement, Jenny. Many congratulations!